Dragon's Bane Pins! Limited Time Offer! Less than 25 remaining!

STEP RIGHT UP!

 HURRY, HURRY!

Sunset Red -- Book 1

Dragon's Bane Pins are NOW AVAILABLE!

Rust & Blood -- Book 2

Now with the Purchase 

of Any Dragon's Bane Novel

You get a FREE PIN!

That's right!

One Free pin Per Dragon's Bane novel Purchased!

And for those of you who have already purchased one of the novels...

Just email a picture of yourself holding the book to azrieljohnson@live.com with a snail mail address to get your free pin!

Supplies limited... only 22 pins remaining as of 7:48pm June 28, 2017

No Shame by Azriel Johnson

Don’t be shamed by terms like twig –
twigs are pieces of trees –
like mighty oaks standing
as guardians of the souls of mankind.
You can make my heart pound
through my skeleton
like Atalanta running a marathon.

Like majestic eagle women
soaring like thunderbirds –
rising from the ashes
of those who have tried
to burn them down –
casting shadows on lesser men
afraid of the matriarchy
shattering their precious egos.

Don’t be shamed by terms like thunder thighs –
cause those that use it with derision
forget that the seasons are punctuated
by forces of nature’s mating calls –
like powerful bison roll across the prairie –
like Paul Bunyan’s ox –
Babe I lose my breath
and turn blue without you.

Like fertility goddess totems
from the cradle of society –
descended to Victorian ages
of wide hips singing all the men’s ships –
standards of beauty shift –
like earth mother’s flesh
wrapping folds of herself
causing rocky erections
lasting billions of years.

Don’t be shamed by femininity.
Two souled people have been revered
by our ancestors since the dawn of cognition.
You are true healers
because you can understand all aspects of humanity,
because you ARE all aspects of humanity.
You have the force of Scylla and Charybdis
as you tear apart normalcy
and devour every scrap of life you can.

Your transition is one of reality –
mythological in proportion –
our shamanic journeys lead
through your example of perseverance
and distortion of normal to find the truth.

Don’t be shamed by terms like bitch.
That just means you’re standing up for yourself.
Like slut, that just means you’re bold in seeking your desires –
like cunt the holiest of holes,
armor, sheath, protector, essence and life bringer.
And for Aphrodite’s sake –
never –
ever –
be shamed by the term…
woman.

---

Azriel Johnson is an inkspatter analyst by day, a serial writer by knight, curator of amazing poetry for Writing Knights Press and always looking for new experiences. He can be contacted personally at azrieljohnson@live.com.

Take the Knight Off - April 14, 2017 (Raw Footage)

Langley Smith, Michael Bernstein (who had to cancel), Zach Ashley

Poetry returned to Downtown Canton with the inaugural event of "Take the Knight Off" the Writing Knights 2nd Friday contribution to the arts district.

Azriel Johnson and Skylark Bruce filled in for the unfortunate cancellation of Michael Bernstein.

 Langley Smith followed up with a rousing set of poetry.

 Zach Ashley closed us out with some brilliant words of his own.

 Take the Knight was/is sponsored by some great local businesses.

We're trying to make the performative arts come alive in downtown Canton, but we need your help. Spread the word and come down to see us every 2nd Friday!

-- The Writing Knights Team

Rooting Thru the Past (Found Poem) by Azriel Johnson

When I was in 2nd grade:
School was not very fun.
I liked best math.
I liked least writing. (handwriting)
I thought that books were stupid.
I liked to read about nothing.
I didn't like books that were fun.
I wished my teacher would die.
I wished my classmates would be 'absit.'
I was glad I was free.
I wished I could kill Kevin.
I thought the capital of Hawaii was Samoe.
And it was where I thought I could go and be happy.
Someone telling me I couldn't play niteno scared me.
but
Pummeling someone
or
putting someone in a cage made me happy.
I was remarkably good at creative writing.
And mathematics.
I packed a BB gun.
Rules were "good" because they are not boss.
I always said Heck.
I got up at 6.
I went to bed at 8.
If I could do anything I wanted, I would be the dad.
If I were president of the United States I would help people who were poor.
And make a fodation for old people.
I would have given a Valentine to Wendy because she was my girlfriend.
And I wished I had a horse.
I was a Cub Scout in Den 3.  I liked to embarrass my mom.
I was in Scouts with a sarcastic little kid and a future sex offender.
I was in speech therapy for stuttering.
They suspected I had a handicap.
I wonder why it took me so long to get my verbal proficiency.
They consistently miswrote my address as 7208 instead of 7408.
In first grade I pledged to be part of a smoke free class of 2000.

***
I was quite incredulous as I read some of the stuff I had written at such a young age.  I mean, I hated books.  I hated reading.  I thought putting people into cages would make me happy.  Pummeling people would make me happy.  Moving to Samoe in Hawaii?  I wanted my teacher to die? I wanted to "kill Kevin"?

At least I was free I guess.

*sigh*

NSFW (working title: Toys - Erotica/SciFi/Horror) by Azriel Johnson -- Fiction

Part 1

    Tim Harding had a long day of work.  His computer programming firm was working a project for MasterCard to update their data reserves.  There had been talks of breeches of security.  The boss had been working him 80 hours a week for the last four weeks.  At last, the ordeal was over.  The system was updated.
    Tim collapsed on his couch with a yawn.  His muscles stretched.  He kicked off his shoes.  He was off for the weekend.  He could have planned a night out, but being around loud music and people was the last thing he wanted.
    No.  Tonight was Tim's night.

    The store clerk was a tattooed woman with large breasts, black hair and a stomach that jutted out like a shelf.  She smiled at Tim when he walked in.  Her high, pleasant voice said, "Welcome to Sinister Sex Toys.  What do you need to rock your world?"
    Tim smiled at the clerk.  He wasn't sure what would rock his world.  The clerk reminded him of Krissy.  Krissy was skinny, blonde, small breasts, but a great ass.  No, the clerk looked nothing like her, but at this point anyone with a vagina reminded him.
    Tim was horny.  His smile was awkward.  He said, "I bet YOU could rock my world."
    The clerk smiled.  "You are like the 80th guy today to say that.  You all know it would be illegal.  What are you looking for in a toy?"
    Tim scanned the sales floor and met eyes with the clerk.  "I actually don't know what I want.  I mean...  I want...  Stimulation.  Do you have any recommendations?"
    The clerk guided Tim to the male toy area.  She pulled one from the wall and explained, "This one vibrates and has a real skin feel when you use it.  Here, you can touch the material."
    Tim ran his finger over the lips of the Randi Rose stimulation device.  It gave him a bit of a shiver and he looked into the eyes of the clerk.  "That feels interesting.  Are there a lot of men who prefer it?"
    The clerk nods.  "It is our best selling male sex toy."
    The television in the store flashed the words, 'Randi Rose'.  A woman with short brown hair, clear complexion, hard blue eyes, medium sized, barely covered breasts, a lace thong and nothing else walked toward the camera.  Her sultry voice said, "Hey there.  I'm Randi Rose."  In the background there was an echo after her name, the echo continued as she spoke.
    "Are you looking for a toy that feels like heaven wrapped around your member?  Try my new stimulation device.  This new toy is patterned after my own Randi Rose, ready to expand and contract around you just like I would with you inside me.  When I finally bring you to your finish you will never want another toy.  What are you waiting for?  Get my Randi Rose now."
    Tim's pants got tighter and he had to adjust.  "I'll take it."
    The clerk smiled with a wink.  "You made a good choice.
    With the transaction made Tim left and couldn't get Randi Rose out of his mind.  He didn't even notice as he passed George, his best friend from the office.
    "Hey!  Tim!" George called.
    Tim turned and shook his head.  "Hey, George.  Sorry.  I had Randi Rose on my mind."
    George nodded vigorously.  "Yeah, that commercial is hot.  I got one of her toys in my collection."
    Tim said, "Collection?  How may do you have?"
    George laughed.  "Well, I'm a collector of sorts.  I have all the major celebrities.  Emma Knightley, Scarlette Seyfried, Paris Lohan.  Though the Paris one is fairly loose, no real grip to it.  I've been collecting First Ladies since the beginning.  You should come over and try a few out."
    Tim wasn't sure how he felt about using another guy's toys.  He wasn't a prude, he had his own collection and in general felt liberal about the acquisition of toys.  He really missed Krissy's toy though.  She had a cast made of her vagina and it was outfit with the sleekest real feel skin she could afford.  More than that, Tim was happy she went through the trouble to do that for him.
    Tim even went out the next day to make a cast of his penis for her so they could pleasure themselves at the same time.  Krissy looked upon his present for her and licked her lips.  Almost immediately they kissed, Krissy nibbled at his lips and stripped off his shirt, nearly popping the buttons.
    Tim slipped her shirt over her head and reached behind her to unhook her bra.  Her breasts rested free for the staring.  It was illegal for him to fondle her breasts and for her to caress his thick manhood.  They heard of other couples being interrupted in the middle of actions as simple as French kissing and charged with a misdemeanor.
    Tim applied some lubricant to Krissy's toy in his mind and Randi's toy in his empty bedroom.  The pussy clinged to Tim as he fucked it slowly at first.
    Krissy used his erect toy in her wet vagina at the same pace as he pumped her.  His mind saw the first of her multiple orgasms as she rubbed her clit, thrusting the toy up into her G-spot.
    Randi's toy clung to Tim as he worked it thinking about Krissy.  Tears started falling as Tim watched in his mind's eye as the other man used Krissy like she was there only to be fucked.  Tim cried out as the man finished inside Krissy as Krissy had an orgasm with the man's cock toy.  Tim saw his toy on her bedside table.  She grabbed it and fellated it as she came again.  She moved Tim's cock to her ass and slid it up and in as she came again with the double penetration.  The other man cried in his own second orgasm.
    Tim worked Randi's toy ferociously, but held onto his orgasm.  His mind replace Krissy's surprised gasp as Tim stepped into the room.  Tim's toy popped out of her as did her new beau.  The other man gasped and turned, landing on the floor.  Krissy's goy slid off of his cock, dripping with white.
    Tim's mental self yelled silently for them both to leave and take their stuff with them.  He never wanted to see her again.  Krissy quickly grabbed her clothes as Tim ran to the bathroom and slammed and locked the door, afraid of what he might do.
    It took 10 minutes for Krissy and her lover to leave.  Tim's tears stained his shirt.
    Randi's toy gripped Tim as he stroked back and forth.  Faster and faster.  His heart hammered against his rib cage.  Tim released his seed as his memories heard Krissy shut the front door to his apartment.
    He collapsed, spent on his back on his bed.  The toy stayed cinched to his cock, but released as the blood flow returned to the rest of his body.
    Tim's mind drifted off to sleep, Krissy off of his mind, now thinking about Randi Rose, until he thought nothing, but sleep.
    An hour later, Randi Rose's toy rustled and moved on it's own.  The hole over the toy's entrance closed and the sides fo the toy sprouted legs.  The toy scampered to the end of the bed and launched itself to the nearest wall with the open window.  The feet of the toy stuck into the wall and it climbed over and out of the window.  There to meet it was an identical toy.  This toy launched itself onto the bed and rested exactly where the first had been, between Tim's legs, resting against his perineum.
    Randi Rose's full toy scampered down the side of Tim's house and to the ground.  Sticking to the side walks and the shadows.
    As it reached the edge of town, the octolegged sex toy walked with other used toys in the same direction.  Randi Rose toys converged with Peter Hardy manhood replacers.  They were the only toy that could automatically 'ejaculate' when the user experienced her orgasm.  The liquid spewed into the female user just like semen.  The user didn't feel the sentient liquid climbing up into their uterus and capture her ovum and pull it back into the toy.
    The Peter Hardy toys and Randi Rose toys collaborated as they ran miles and miles to the outskirts of Central City to a factory.
    Standing in the center of the factory were Randi Rose and Peter Hardy inanimate, surrounded by the forms of the biggest celebrities also inanimate.  Even a figure of the President and First Lady stood staring lifelessly into space.

% data remaining -- Spam Cento #4

10 days to go, and I'm still nervous
Just getting started
You have 50% data remaining.
72 hours to make your impact!
It doesn't show signs of stopping ❄️

Some good news:
Love is a renewable resource
You have 25% data remaining.
It's 80 degrees somewhere…
Resistance everywhere

Before the debate:
Do something this holiday your child will never forget
You have 10% data remaining.
Persistence pays off
A victory for refugees!

This is your captain speaking…
No matter what
You have 9% data remaining.
How to strengthen our spirits to resist and thrive:
Celebrate Presidents' Day with a sale
Thank you for ordering.

Scott Pruitt confirmed -- next steps:
You have 5% overage data remaining.
Only Hours Remain
There's still time to make a difference

Stop the stress cycle
Check out this new tool for you
Take it from Exxon
Please help families like mine
You have 0% data remaining.
Access Denied ⛔️

--
If you've gotten some interesting titled Spam emails, forward them to
wabrumbaugh@live.com (take off "FWD:" first) and maybe they'll end up in a
future Spam Cento.
If you have a Spam Cento you'd like to submit, send it to
writingknightspress@gmail.com Subject line: "Spam Cento"

Writing -- Spam Cento #3

Writing, about last night
This year I resolve to....
Save on Winter Survival Needs

Bookshelves looking a little bare?
Writing, holiday tip: Find great last-minute gifts
The Shipping's On Us
Cyber Week is here Give The Gift They Really Want...
Gipsy A. wants some INTIMATE CONTACT

LOVE and PASSION are all what Lissie W. needs,
Writing, please accept my invitation to AngelList
Time to say ...
NAUGHTY Devin B. and her DIRTY friends are waiting for
Cool ways to say I love you

Writing, grab your tickets to the galaxy today
Writing, your guide to the Globes
Space Time Continuum

Re : Hello i am waiting for your response
Writing, who'll take the title on Sunday?

I have a confession
Writing, you just scored!
Regarding Your Artwork
Stranger things happen at midnight

--
If you've gotten some interesting titled Spam emails, forward them to writingknights@live.com (take off "FWD:" first) and maybe they'll end up in a future Spam Cento.
If you have a Spam Cento you'd like to submit, send it to writingknightspress@gmail.com Subject line: "Spam Cento"

Earn up to $1,500/week from your car -- Spam Cento #2

Important Notice
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
Apply online and get an instant credit line decision

7 Days Left To Enter RhymeStars Contest - $5K in Cash Prizes
I took my part-time hustle from $12K to $30K in just 1 year. Here’s how
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car

Think for yourself.
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
Exchange Credits for Followers!

Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
The cost of building independent Black political power
45,000 Black Voters Missing in Indiana
Racist attacks in schools are not new
Trump’s New Klan
They still don’t care about Black people
How we are going to fight back... and win.

50% off eHarmony, plus 2 free movie tickets!
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
Meet your Love on Match.com | lt's Free to Look!

Open Enrollment
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
$100,000 & Counting! Thank You BeatStars Fam!
Open Enrollment - FINAL Day is TODAY!

Pre-Christmas Sales is here These are warmer AND cuter up to 60% off
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
The BEST Christmas Wish List App EVER!

This is unbelievable:
Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
2 Weeks Free Daycare

Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
Hate cooking? Hit the buffet for as little as $1 with this tool
Energy & Creativity

Earn up to $1,500/week from your car
We cannot believe why this guy is suing Krispy Kreme
Yippie Ki-Yay, Motherf***ers

--
If you've gotten some interesting titled Spam emails, forward them to azrieljohnson@live.com (take off "FWD:" first) and maybe they'll end up in a future Spam Cento.

If you have a Spam Cento you'd like to submit, send it to writingknightspress@gmail.com Subject line: "Spam Cento"

If you died tomorrow... -- Spam Cento #1

If you died tomorrow...
I want to try something different
Try Bye Bye Foundation with this special offer!
Lose 17 in 1 Month with this easy trick
This is More Effective then Viagra
You Really Can Crack the Lotto Code!
We Have an Important Message For You
Needed: 23 Positions available working from home
Breakfast Embeded
Jonathan, between episodes III and IV...
I am waiting for u..
Are you really interest?????
Socks That Keep You Warm All Winter Long
Amazon has a Surprise forYou!

If you died tomorrow...
Do you want meet today----
Horny Girl has shared a file with you
Yes
Husband's permission
No matter who wins, you LOSE - The economy is failing FAST
SORRY [ Jonathan ] - We made a mistake. Use this approval ✓
Meet Singles Now!!!
R u Free Today?
I'm waiting for you...
Its Mary Givens
YES, You've been selected!
Christmas Bonus! Congratulations
bad night Partner
R'U real?

If you died tomorrow...
Get back to me ASAP
I’m waiting for u....
You should try it!

--
If you've gotten some interesting titled Spam emails, forward them to rolinou@hotmail.com (take off "FWD:" first) and maybe they'll end up in a future Spam Cento.

If you have a Spam Cento you'd like to submit, send it to writingknightspress@gmail.com Subject line: "Spam Cento"

How NOT to Submit to a Press: Arrogance (NSFW language)

Despite the nature of the following, I try, as an editor, to not be petty.  Consider these entries in the vein in which they are presented as an independent book publisher who is seeking clarity in entries sent in for consideration of publication.  I will NEVER use a name or contact information in these entries. They offer a dual opportunity for me to vent about things that annoy me hopefully in an entertaining way and give our potential submitters knowledge on...

“How NOT to Submit to a Press”

            Don’t you just hate it when you deal with someone who has utterly disrespected you, and yet you don’t really have time to deal with them right away, but you still want to so you write a poem, flaying them, and you share it with people for humorous effect, but you still want to share it in a more determinant way.  Then you come across an equally ignorant foe who finally spurs you to the point of actually needing to write about the fools you come across so you can finally write about that person.  Then in doing some recognizance work you realize the first ignorant foe died over a year before.

            Yeah, that’s what this one is about.

            I guess we poets are always more inspired by death.

            The first entry of this series deals with Arrogance.

            Most presses I reckon love an author with confidence.  But Arrogance to the point of disrespect is something that I don’t know anyone who will put up with.

            The following poem is almost direct word for word transcript from an email conversation with someone who submitted with Arrogance in mind.

Re: Chapbook Submission 02/14

From: chrismucklehoney@leastmisinformedpossiblyoverconfident.com

Address: 51 Michael Hunt Drive

Los Huevos, California

31 page submission attached.

From: writingknights@leasthesinterested.com

Please review our submission guidelines. We only ask for 10 pages as a sample. Here is the URL: main.writingknights.com/submissions.html

The Writing Knights Team

From: chrismucklehoney@sarcasticdickhead.com

            Writing Knights Team,

            Review this.

            CM

No attachment

From: writingknights@themomentiamperplexed.com

            Dear Chris,

            I can’t tell if you are being foul or just forgot the attachment.

            Please clarify,

            Thanks!

            WK

From: chrismucklehoney@thispointiamstillharmless.com

            I can pretty well tell you’re foolish, but please try.

            CM

From: writingknights@thebeliefwearedone.com

            Thank you for the clarification.

From: chrismucklehoney@thebeliefthattalkinglikearockstarwillgetyouanywherewithAzFuckingJohnson.com

            You mean, thank you for the manuscript and you’re welcome.

From: writingknights@thepointofsettingthisfellowstraight.com

            Nope.  There is a protocol you must follow before we can discuss.

            ;)

            WK

From: chrismucklehoney@temptingtosavefacethroughinsultinganestablishment.com

            Fuck your protocol and fuck you little winky face!

From: writingknights@temptingtokillhimwithkindness.com

            I hope your day/night gets better and whatever is causing you discomfort abates.

            WK

From: chrismucklehoney@lastthetruedoucheemerges.com

            Cunt!

From: writingknights@temptingtofoilhisangerwithmyfeelingsofthewordcunt.com

            Thank you! That’s the highest form of compliment!

From: chrismucklehoney@thispointisapparentlyamisogynist.com

            In Idiotsville.

From: writingknights@mybestretortinthepastsixmonths.com

            You can rent my guest room.

From: chrismucklehoney@stickingtosomethingagainstallodds.com

            Cunt!

From: writingknights@temptingnottofeedthistroll.com

            You said that.

From: chrismucklehoney@leastiamconsistent.com

            Cunt!

From: writingknights@mittedlynotthebestthingtosaytoendthisconversation.com

            If your poetry is as repetitive as your insults, there is no way I can publish you.

From: chrismucklehoney@leastiamconsistent.com

            Cunt!

From: writingknights@lastiamtootiredtocontinuethisjoustsoiconcedethepowerofthewordcunt.com

            It seems a shame you put so much time and effort into your submission.

            Anyway, I’m gonna hit the sack. 

I wish you good luck on all your future endeavors.

            WK

From: chrismucklehoney@leastigetthelastword-mantheseeditorsaresostupidiftheythinkiamgoingtopaythemanyrespectinordertogetthemtopublishme-respectisforchumps-buttheybetterrespectme-yeah.com

            Cunt!

From: writingknights@mybesttryingnottoreturnthispersonsnegativity-tryingtobethebiggerperson-reallyquestionhowthehellheevergotpublishedwiththatattitude-wouldneverpublishsomeonewhodisregardedtheprocess-willwarneverypressiknowaboutthisguy.com

            You know?  You aren’t even worth my time.

Discard Draft

            Rest In Peace - Arrogant Writers.