Azriel Johnson, Official Author Blog

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Crying - Azriel Johnson

10/98

I see you’re unattainable.
It makes me sad to see.
Someone who doesn’t even try.
Just one touch and you’re with them.
Emotions are running deep. I want to be happy.
I am sad. I am Crying.
My head is confused. My heart is dying.
I want so bad a love of my own.
I don’t wanna be alone.
I’m not right in the head.
Tears run down my face.
I hear a good song on the radio.
Your scent is in the room.
My emotions run wild.
I am Crying. I know I can’t have you.
I want you. I read everything
I know about you as hidden riddles.
I dream of a life with you.
I live in a world without your love.
I am sad. I am Crying.
I am sad. I am Crying.

*Note* Originally published in "Staving Away the Sadness" (PublishAmerica, 2004) Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 04/08/06

Azriel Johnson is an inkspatter analyst and a serial writer by night. He runs a small, not money losing publishing press and a weekly open mic with monthly features called Writing Knights Press and Writing Knights: Stark.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Plain, White Room - Azriel Johnson

02/02

Technicolor red.
Forsake, abandon, refuse.
A plain, white room.
One chair, one small table.
Two small windows.
White curtains.
The wind blows through the room.
Musses the hair.
Plays along the clothes.
The eyelid twitches.
Virginal floor, white carpet, stained red.
The wind stops blowing.
The curtains don't move.
Love is...
Forsake, abandon, refuse.
Technicolor red.

*Note* Originally published in "Staving Away the Sadness" (PublishAmerica, 2004) Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 04/08/06

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Stark Knights 2016: Perry Sippo Library (April 13)

Due to technical difficulties, this show was not recorded.

Featuring:

Perry Sippo Library
Address: 5710 12 St NW, Massillon, OH
Time: 6pm to 7:30pm
Facebook Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1269544499738627/

The Stark Knights Tour will be hosting four performers, two local and two from outside of the area to bring a bit of flavor to the Perry Sippo Library.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Naked

No, you're not getting a full nude of me. That would put my blog into adult territory and I don't want that. However, "Adult Territory" is kind of what this entry will be about.

I had my nephew this weekend. It was generally a good time with a few snags, but everyone came out alive at the other end. I laid in my bed Saturday, nude as per usual, struggling with myself about having to get out and get some pants on to face the day.

I'm not a person who enjoys pants.

I understand their use and necessity. They keep a person warm (or are at least supposed to) when it's cold. They can carry things when you want to keep your hands free to hold other things. They are like mini-backpacks for your legs. In general though, I wish I could go about without wearing them.

One of my authors and internet friencquaintance had a post which talked about how when she went up to get the mail from the post man and it wasn't until she sat down she realized she hadn't been wearing trousers.

The following is a bit of our conversation:

Shameless Plug!!!!
Click here to buy
"The Gospel of Flies" by Bethany W. Pope
You'll have to search out her other books yourself.
Also she's coming out with another one with WK this year.
Eventually....

Azriel Johnson: did you have knickers on?
That isn't a roundabout way to ask if you're wearing any, I was just curious what kind of a show he got. *smile emoticon*

Bethany W Pope: Ha! No. Matt gets on my case all the time about letting my vagina flap in the wind.
He probably has a point.

Azriel Johnson: Well, if it flaps there might be an issue... but in general I think if its your house you should be allowed to flap how you want.

Bethany W Pope: Word.
We do have to be cautious though because we live right beside a park.

Azriel Johnson: Flap... also and interesting word for a vagina's resting posture... incidentally.
You've always seemed like someone who would be inclined to walk around naked most of the time, not because you're a nudist, but because you're busy thinking and creating and just can't be bothered to put on clothes unless you're cold.
Not a criticism btw, I am similar...
Also i don't think about you naked generally its just a sense I get from you which has manifested now in a borderline inappropriate conversation for a publisher to have with his author.... *smile emoticon*

Bethany W Pope: Yes. That's generally how it goes. I start getting dressed then get a line and have to write it down. I forget what I was doing and the next thing I know I'm walking outside without anything on.
HA!

Azriel Johnson: I thought that was your sleep walking episodes

Bethany W Pope: That too. Though that's happened less since Matt put the chain on the door.

Azriel Johnson: I was just thinking this weekend, I wish it wasn't inappropriate to walk around my house naked when my nephew was downstairs. I mean, I don't have any ill intentions. It's just a penis ffs.

Bethany W Pope: That's culture for you. We had sort of a weird situation at home. Mom was an actress so she was VERY comfortable just being starkers all the time. Dad was a minister (I've never seen him without a shirt) so we received decidedly mixed messages. 1) the body is a tool 2) the body is Satan's shame-temple.
If you were German you'd have been fine.

Azriel Johnson: I am German ancestry, but unfortunately American cultured

Bethany W Pope: The nice thing about cultures is that they change.

Azriel Johnson: I wish when the hippies won they hadn't gone ultra conservative instead of following the trajectory they were on... fuckin boomers... ha!

Bethany W Pope: Yeah. Well, it's up to us not to follow the same route. Being broke-ass poets ought to help with that! I've noticed that conservatism follows cash.

Azriel Johnson: Yes. Though I wouldn't be opposed to some more cash, I am just not willing to compromise a lot of my ideals to do it.

Bethany W Pope: Same. Or any, in my case. It's better to be poor and noble than rich and morally bankrupt. Of course, I'd really like to be rich and noble.

Azriel Johnson: I don't believe that richness of bank account and richness of spirit are mutually exclusive. It's possible to have both I think.

The conversation diverged there into a reference to Dinner for Schmucks then the pretentiousness and antifeminist connotations of the terms Authoress and Poetess.

But I have been thinking about this. I don't consider myself a nudist, but I wish we had a culture where clothes were unnecessary except when they were needed for protection against the elements. I also wonder did clothes come into being for first for war or religion. Did prehistoric Sapiens warriors kill Neanderthals wearing armor before or after prehistoric Sapiens priests told them the Thunder God would curse them if they didn't wear a certain primary color (probably red) doing it.

If we all walked around naked, I think we would get over this body shaming thing in about a week. I also think racism would slowly die out (hard to combat something ingrained in hundreds of years of culture). Homophobia would peter out (see what I did there) when the straight fellas realized that their gay neighbors weren't getting hardons over them every they interacted.

Maybe instead of Dragons rising up from under the earth to destroy us all to unite us, what we really need is a death of nonfunctional clothes.... and religion.... and war....

Let me step away before I climb up on a soap box. One rant per entry is enough.

But I wanted to share with you, I've added a couple new extracts:

According to the bottles, Astragalus is for immune support (since I'm still fighting the cold, I no doubt need some help) and Burdock Blend is for cleansing and detoxifying. So good luck to me!

Thanks for reading! (buy Bethany's books and do it naked!)
Az

*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 04/11/16

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Stark Knights 2016: Workshop (April 6)

Hosts/Instructors:

Azriel Johnson

and

Skylark Bruce

Perry Sippo Library
Address: 5710 12 St NW, Massillon, OH
Time: 6PM to 7:30pm
Facebook Event: https://www.facebook.com/events/1681336042136234/

The Stark Knights Tour will be conducting a FREE workshop April 6th at the Perry Sippo Library from 6pm to 7:30pm. Included with instruction will also be plenty of time to write and share with one another. Writers of all skill levels are welcome.

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Sick

I can't say that I felt like a bag of smashed assholes. I've felt like that before. This wasn't quite it. The weekend though was not fun in the least. Low energy. Stabby throat. Xs in my chest. When I got to work my napitation made me an hour later than I intended.

So when poetry happened tonight I was not up to snuff. Thankfully Skylark helped with that and ran the show for me. I still attended, of course, but my energy level bottomed.

There is a poetry thing I want to go to in Painesville, but I doubt I'll feel up to going. I'm fighting a dry, annoying cough and the accompanying headache.

I won't complain much more though, because at least I'm alive to feel sick instead of being not sick, just dead.

The detox is going as well as can be expected. I feel like the draining of toxins from my body will contribute to a faster recovery time. I felt worse this weekend than I did today. I think I caught the sick from my nephew when he was here. As Louis CK says, "kids are just buckets of disease that live in your house." I'm inclined to agree sometimes.

I'm really itchy too. Not sure what's up with that.

The poetry tour is going really well for the first two dates. We have an other date Wednesday which is the workshop. I'm looking forward to see who comes and if they are actually there to learn or there to cement their ignorance like last year.

Last year, we had a small workshop in March, right before the Stark Knights tour. A total of three people came. One of those people were there to learn and expand themselves. The other two had their minds made up that there was nothing they could learn. They wanted to know about publishing instead of becoming better writers, which is fine, but the idea was to expand writing. Yes I run a publishing press, but when I gave them the advice that I had, they threw it back at me saying they could get published by paying someone a set amount of money. *sigh*

I mean, I do books on commission, but that would never be my first choice for someone to try unless you are afraid of rejection. Then most certainly get rejected, get over the fear. You'll be better for it.

Thanks for reading!
Az
*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 04/05/16

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Reputation

I had to have a conversation with my nephew last night on the way to the movie (Batman vs Superman, I wrote a review if you want to read it check out Binge-TV.blogspot.com).

The conversation was about reputation.

As you know, nightly I mix up a concoction I call my "Elixir of Ease" it helps me combat the inflammation and pain I would normally feel in my hands during the day. Well, last night he drank from that elixir. He didn't drink it all mind you, but he drank enough of it that was noticeable. Of course, it wasn't the end of the world, but I was mad. I almost poured the rest down his throat when he was sleeping. But, of course, less asshole heads prevailed.

He's been staying with me for five days by this point. And during these five days I had a task for him to do. His task was to organize my Magic the Gathering cards alphabetically and by type of spell. If you know MtG you'd know what I was talking about. If not, no worries, he had a job organizing something.

For the better part of 5 days he worked on this and yet, when I got home in preparation to go to the movie he still wasn't done. *sigh* I'll admit, I wasn't the best worker when I was 13, but damned if I wouldn't have been tickled pink to do something like this. The boy is also a fan of MtG so I thought this was something he would want to dive right into. Anyway, I made him finish the rest right in front of me while I fixed some of the misorderings myself and we went to the movie.

On the drive there I let him in on a secret that many people seem to miss out on in life. You only have your reputation. You can lose everything else in your life, but your reputation lives on. When you do something that disrespects someone, your reputation with them falters. In typical 13 year old fashion when I asked him why he drank the Elixir he said, "I really do not know what was going through my head." *sigh* we need to get this boy some mindfulness training.

When you ask to do something and someone tells you no, you do not do it. Full stop. Continuing to do the thing they told you not to amounts to disrespect for that person. We have had numerous conversations about consent and I tied the respect factor into consent.

He has a long way to go. I think having something about mindfulness so he can read it over again and again and again might be helpful for him. Hopefully he can snap out of the stupid that is clouding his judgment.
*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 03/30/16

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

SCREAM!

Saturday I debuted a poem based on a line I wrote on facebook: "I scream in my car to keep from killing you all". I used it as a slam poem and won last place at the Lake Effect Poetry team qualifier. W00t! Go me!

I am not really concerned if I don't make the team this year. I never really score well anyway when I go up. I try to be entertaining and have fun with it. Sky and I are still going on tour at the end of May/Beginning of June in preparation for landing in Columbus for the Rustbelt Regional Poetry slam.

Why I bring it up is because I did the Scream poem again for Monday night poetry. I wish I had done it first because it quieted all of the bysitters in the shop and allowed the poets some peace as they read their work after me. I mean, I'm not one to tell people what to do, but it gets loud in there with mofos just talking their fool heads off while we are trying to be poetical.

I wish I could have a sign somewhere that says, "Quiet! Creation is happening!" or something catchy like that to maybe influence the bysitters to shush, or at least talk lower.

My nephew and faux-niece attended with me and Sky. My niece was surprised at how much fun she had and will hopefully come back in coming weeks.

We start the Stark Knights Tour on April 1st. I'm excited! Thirteen shows coming and while I've already had people back out, I've gotten almost everyone replaced who has had to.

I'm trying to think of a new introduction for the poetry nights... I like the "hear ye, hear ye" intro, but it's always good to make some change... maybe a scream to clear the air...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Now don't you feel better?

Thanks for reading!
Az

*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 03/29/16

Monday, March 28, 2016

Sun Coma

One of the things that regularly occupies my Sundays is feeding people downtown in a flat grass space they call a park. I have higher standards for my parks... namely more than just a few scraggly trees which surround the grassy area, maybe a pavilion (which would be helpful when we feed people during these kinds of days).

The day itself was beautiful. 75 degree high. Lots of people hungry, more than we usually get on a holiday as most holidays people go to spend time with their families, even if they are having housing lack.

I wore my usual Sunday shirt which says: "gay? fine by me." I do it because I like to remind people to be tolerant. There is one of the fellas who tries to make me feel bad about wearing it, but today I was not in the mood to deal with his crap. I am usually more jovial and "oh Pete, you silly thing" about it, but today he looked at me with such disdain, he barely got the words, "I can't--" when I snapped at him, "Damn Pete, stop being homophobic for just today. It's Easter! Jeez!" Not that I'm a particularly Christian person, but he keeps citing the bible when he tells me why he thinks it's wrong. The bible also says not to judge.

As I said, the sun was high and I didn't have a head covering. A mistake on my part as I'm fairly sensitive to the sun, especially on my alopecia. I stood facing the line of servers and the hungry with a trash bag. We had plenty of people to help serve so trash bag duty was my lot for the day. In small doses, the sun helps to energize me, but if I'm out in it too long I start to get crabby and discommunicative (as in, I'll still communicate even be nice, but I don't want to).

The picnic ended, we fed some people and made our way to Easter meal with Sky's parents. I ate and talked and whatnot, but I felt drained. I tried to eat to offset the lack of energy, but it didn't help. I tried to be social, but failed as I went into the living room and conked out on the couch... for about two hours. My lover tried to rouse me by sitting on my crotch, but unfortunately I was halfway to comatown by then. My nephew woke me by sitting on my stomach, to which I gave him a hard shove to the floor. I didn't hurt him... or if I did he didn't cry about it.

When I was finally able to get up, I found him laying on the ground asleep. Point for boring Tio knock out of the 13 year old. :)

I hadn't had my detox all weekend, I just didn't make time to make the tea or take the elixir in the morning, but I think a break is good. I don't think it has to be solid every single day to be optimal effective. There are a couple more days left of the nephew helping out around the house and organizing my Magic the Gathering cards so I need to be on my best health.

Oh, I think my abdomen is getting a little smaller. I'll take a picture for tomorrow if I still think that.

Thanks for reading!
Az
*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 03/28/16

Friday, March 25, 2016

Too Much Information Ahead

Well, this detox is definitely having an... effect...

You see with a mixture of fatigue and bipolar there are certain things which occur in the body... lack of appetite (no), over eating (tried not to), lack of desire to do the things you normally enjoy (certainly).

The thing that affected me the most unfortunately was my lowered libido.

Now, I don't know how Skylark felt about it, but I was not happy about not "feeling the urge" as often as I have been known for at one time (Skylark's feelings are her own business, but I'm sure if you asked her she could tell you).

I used to be a wanting to sex machine. All the time. Like a teenage boy minus face acne.

Of course, as a guy gets older he loses some of his libido, but the fatigue dropped it way too low. I mean, 34 is NOT old, I should have still been chasing tail (just the one) more than I had been.

Now, when the urge did arise, I could perform. Haven't had a problem in that area, but most of the time I would just ask (with my body), get to business, close business and go to sleep.

Let's just say, times they are a'changing...

As I wrote this entry, I've thought about sex to the point where my member has come to attention at least twice, I've had to pause and think about something else to get it to go back down.

So if there's one thing to say for the detox... it's got me horny....
Who to do... who to do...

Thanks for reading,
Az
*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct AzrielJohnsonAuthor.blogspot.com 03/25/16