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Monday, April 11, 2016


No, you're not getting a full nude of me. That would put my blog into adult territory and I don't want that.  However, "Adult Territory" is kind of what this entry will be about.

I had my nephew this weekend. It was generally a good time with a few snags, but everyone came out alive at the other end.  I laid in my bed Saturday, nude as per usual, struggling with myself about having to get out and get some pants on to face the day. 

I'm not a person who enjoys pants.

I understand their use and necessity. They keep a person warm (or are at least supposed to) when it's cold.  They can carry things when you want to keep your hands free to hold other things.  They are like mini-backpacks for your legs.  In general though, I wish I could go about without wearing them.

One of my authors and internet friencquaintance had a post which talked about how when she went up to get the mail from the post man and it wasn't until she sat down she realized she hadn't been wearing trousers.

The following is a bit of our conversation:

Shameless Plug!!!!
Click here to buy
"The Gospel of Flies" by Bethany W. Pope
You'll have to search out her other books yourself.
Also she's coming out with another one with WK this year.
Azriel Johnson: did you have knickers on?
That isn't a roundabout way to ask if you're wearing any, I was just curious what kind of a show he got. *smile emoticon*
Bethany W Pope: Ha! No. Matt gets on my case all the time about letting my vagina flap in the wind.
He probably has a point.
Azriel Johnson: Well, if it flaps there might be an issue... but in general I think if its your house you should be allowed to flap how you want.
Bethany W Pope: Word.
We do have to be cautious though because we live right beside a park.
Azriel Johnson: Flap... also and interesting word for a vagina's resting posture... incidentally.
You've always seemed like someone who would be inclined to walk around naked most of the time, not because you're a nudist, but because you're busy thinking and creating and just can't be bothered to put on clothes unless you're cold.
Not a criticism btw, I am similar...
Also i don't think about you naked generally its just a sense I get from you which has manifested now in a borderline inappropriate conversation for a publisher to have with his author.... *smile emoticon*
Bethany W Pope: Yes. That's generally how it goes. I start getting dressed then get a line and have to write it down. I forget what I was doing and the next thing I know I'm walking outside without anything on.
Azriel Johnson: I thought that was your sleep walking episodes
Bethany W Pope: That too. Though that's happened less since Matt put the chain on the door.
Azriel Johnson: I was just thinking this weekend, I wish it wasn't inappropriate to walk around my house naked when my nephew was downstairs. I mean, I don't have any ill intentions. It's just a penis ffs.
Bethany W Pope: That's culture for you. We had sort of a weird situation at home. Mom was an actress so she was VERY comfortable just being starkers all the time. Dad was a minister (I've never seen him without a shirt) so we received decidedly mixed messages. 1) the body is a tool 2) the body is Satan's shame-temple.
If you were German you'd have been fine.
Azriel Johnson: I am German ancestry, but unfortunately American cultured
Bethany W Pope: The nice thing about cultures is that they change.
Azriel Johnson: I wish when the hippies won they hadn't gone ultra conservative instead of following the trajectory they were on... fuckin boomers... ha!
Bethany W Pope: Yeah. Well, it's up to us not to follow the same route. Being broke-ass poets ought to help with that! I've noticed that conservatism follows cash.
Azriel Johnson: Yes. Though I wouldn't be opposed to some more cash, I am just not willing to compromise a lot of my ideals to do it.
Bethany W Pope: Same. Or any, in my case. It's better to be poor and noble than rich and morally bankrupt. Of course, I'd really like to be rich and noble.
Azriel Johnson: I don't believe that richness of bank account and richness of spirit are mutually exclusive. It's possible to have both I think.

The conversation diverged there into a reference to Dinner for Schmucks then the pretentiousness and antifeminist connotations of the terms Authoress and Poetess.

But I have been thinking about this. I don't consider myself a nudist, but I wish we had a culture where clothes were unnecessary except when they were needed for protection against the elements. I also wonder did clothes come into being for first for war or religion.  Did prehistoric Sapiens warriors kill Neanderthals wearing armor before or after prehistoric Sapiens priests told them the Thunder God would curse them if they didn't wear a certain primary color (probably red) doing it.

If we all walked around naked, I think we would get over this body shaming thing in about a week. I also think racism would slowly die out (hard to combat something ingrained in hundreds of years of culture).  Homophobia would peter out (see what I did there) when the straight fellas realized that their gay neighbors weren't getting hardons over them every they interacted.

Maybe instead of Dragons rising up from under the earth to destroy us all to unite us, what we really need is a death of nonfunctional clothes.... and religion.... and war....

Let me step away before I climb up on a soap box. One rant per entry is enough.

But I wanted to share with you, I've added a couple new extracts:

According to the bottles, Astragalus is for immune support (since I'm still fighting the cold, I no doubt need some help) and Burdock Blend is for cleansing and detoxifying. So good luck to me!

Thanks for reading! (buy Bethany's books and do it naked!)

*Note* Originally posted on the now defunct 04/11/16

Azriel Johnson is an inkspatter analyst and a serial writer by night. He runs a small, not money losing publishing press and a weekly open mic with monthly features called Writing Knights Press and Writing Knights: Stark.

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