Monday, July 8, 2019

Disjointed Word Vomit


I haven’t written in so long, I decided what I needed right now was a mental dump onto a white (red) screen and throw it up to the blog to let people know what’s going on. Excuse yourself if you don’t want to read any of my disjointed rantings.

I wonder how many times I’ll say I am bad at keeping up with writing blogs. At least once more. I’m pretty bad at keeping up with blogs. But I promised I would try and the China experience is one that is important as it’s probably the biggest thing I’ve ever attempted.

My current catchphrase is, I’m 2/3 excited and 1/3 scared shitless. This is pretty accurate. I’ve recently come across feelings of disorientation as I know this experience is going to be a culture shock for me. I’m going to be in a place I do not know, around people who are not mine (at least not at first) with my only friendly faces people I haven’t actually met in person. I know that a good portion of China speaks English, but there will still be a barrier there.

Contact informed me that white men, especially from America, tend to go a little crazy when they first get to China. They have given me examples that I can’t reveal, but the potentiality makes me a bit nervous, too. But I’ve never been typical when it comes to how I behave compared to other white men.

Nevertheless, I’ve been meditating almost every weekday. I’ve been trying to get in touch with and a handle on my emotions. I’m trying to be in touch with everything I’m feeling about everything.

I’ve noticed I’ve been really frustrated with my 9-5 job. It’s a job that I’ve wanted for the past… oh… seven years or so. It’s an office job where I spend my days doing different paperwork and organizing things as well as handling the social media for the office. The whole collection of tasks is overwhelming to say the least. I almost quit last week. I’ve just gotten fed up with the whole situation.

A blessing in disguise, I’ll be going down to part time next week. 9-1. This will give me more opportunity to take care of the tasks I want to have done by the time I leave. Remember the post about lists?  Two things on my list are getting the gallery inventory sorted out so Sky can just go and grab a book if it fits onto a shelf when it isn’t full, the other gallery related list item is to catch up on all of the other books that do not have all of the information listed in the database for post on a third party site for hopeful online purchases.

Those two list items are actually the things I should be working on now, but I have no patience for them… so here I am, typing away on a Word doc. I probably won’t edit anything so if you see typos or misgrammars I apologize, but not really.

I’ve gotten everything ready for getting my passport stamped and visa acquired. My flight to China is booked. I am 99% sure I leave August 25th. I have two 6 hour layovers, one in New York and one in Beijing with a 14 hour flight between them and about 90 minute flights from Cleveland to New York and from Beijing to Nanchang. It all seems doable. I am a little nervous about the flight because last time I flew, the pressure built up in my sinuses and it felt like my head was going to explode and it was only a few hour flight from Detroit to Florida. My sinuses give me fewer issues now, so maybe I’ll be alright. At any rate, I’m probably going to bring Benadryl with me to help put me in a mini coma for the long flight. In the interim, when I am awake, I just purchased Joe Hill’s book N0S4A2 (however you spell it). I’m expecting vampires, so, of course I’m in.

In writing developments, there are none. I haven’t written anything new for Dragon’s Bane and not much poetry at all since the China trip became an idea to follow. I haven’t lost interest in the series at all, I just have so much else to do that I don’t want to get distracted from it all. I know if I started focusing on the next novel, nothing else I wanted to get done would get done. Going 9-1 five days a week with mostly free weekends will be helpful in that respect, even if I have less money to spend on necessities, like a new laptop after I pay off my passport service bills.

The last thing I’ll write about, for now, is my party July 20. It’ll be the last thing I do at Makeshift probably because they are shuttering July 31st so the (probably) last Writing Knights thing August 9th will very likely be at the gallery. I’m excited to have a multitude of people come see me on 7/20. Hopefully we will get a good turn out and a lot of fun. I’m sad as hell that Makeshift is leaving, but that will be a good send off. I want to be surrounded in the loving energy of everyone from my past and present who makes the trip out to see me. I’m also worried as hell everyone is going to “forget” or say “something came up” or they “couldn’t get a ride.” I’m also afraid I’ll end up judging the people I really want to see, but don’t get to before I go.

In closing, what would you like me to write about next?
Leave a comment here or on social media or message me on FB, Twitter or Instagram.
I’ll try to make this a more regular thing.

Azriel

3 comments:

  1. I'd love to see you write about all the things you are looking forward to doing in China! Also, what to expect with WK while you are gone. :)

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  2. Hugs. You have a lot on your plate. As far as who manages to show up, be forgiving if you can. It's harder than you might think to get out and make it to events at the best of times.

    I do wish that Rolyk and I were in Canton like we had planned to be. As it happens, August 25 will be my 55th birthday. It would rock to take you and Sky to dinner or out for ice cream or something similar.

    Life happens its own way. Get yourself lots of chewing gum to help you with sinus issues. If your flight permits, stretch out and do exercises in the aisles if you can. Best of luck to you and Sky both.

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  3. Didn't think to mention before, but the only international flights I've been on were US to Germany. I tend to get motion sick, etc. but taking something to knock me out actually makes me more miserable bc I just feel drugged and out of it, even after I've woken up. My suggestion would be to take things to distract you on the trip, but things that don't take too much thought. Drawing or sewing projects, a light read that you can pick up or put down without feeling bad about it, music or podcasts to listen to. I wish you all the best!

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