I went to an Andrew Yang Open mic.
Except it wasn't really an open mic.
Andrew was giving speeches and talking, but wasn't letting anyone else share anything.
When people would ask, he would say, "Don't you know what an open mic is? Sit down, I am talking."
This incited my anger, because he is defiling my show host sensibilities. I go down to the stage from my perch in the stands and yell, "what you're doing now is not an open mic, you're just giving speeches. If you want to just give speeches, fine, but don't call it an open mic."
He doesn't respond, but I am too angry to listen anyway. I storm back up the stands to get my stuff, ranting, "man, I supported him when he was running for president, but he's being a shit head right now."
My friend C is there (surprisingly because I have seen him once in the last 7 years). He has his sweet APKLPS car (black, stick shift, sports car). I say, "I'm hungry, let's go to a grocery store and get something." He agrees and we go.
We pull up and the entire experience is confusing. I am somehow without a shirt and I am wearing my house slippers, but no one seems to notice.
C and I go into the store and start picking up things. Basics. Snacks. What have you. There is something I throw into the shopping cart for me, he tossed it out and says, "no way" but I am stubborn and try to throw it back. He blocks my hand. I wait until he is far away. I fling the item like a frisbee and it hits inside the cart, but falls out through the cage bottom. "Whatever," I say and move along.
We each have our things at the self check out. He chooses one side, I choose the other side. Unfortunately, in front of me is a guy going unbelievably slow. I get impatient and ask "what's the problem?"
His groceries are just a bunch of tiny little candies and can't be scanned individually. So I say, put them in a bag and weigh them and scan that. He refuses saying, "but I only want this many and I want to pay for them individually." I have no time for this shit.
I get into C's line. C is finished. The store is about to close. I scan my stuff fast and am ready to pay with my card, but just as I am about to swipe ... the lights go out. Only small spotlights light up where I move and instantly shut back off when I move out of the small illuminated area. The entry pad is a mess, I don't recognize any of the buttons except the on button, but finally I am able to get my items paid for and we can leave.
We walk out of the store and to his car. It's snowing and I'm sliding, but finally able to get up the little concrete hill to C's car. I open the door and notice my bare legs. I ask, "Have I been shirtless, wearing only slippers this whole time?"